Hate your job; I have years of experience in hating my jobs. For the low price of twice your daily pay and legally binding contract to bond me out should I get arrested I will got to where you work on your behalf (anonymously if need be) and rant and rave like a freshly escaped unmediated loquacious lunatic. I may not know your job, but I already know how to hate it and be frustrated by it.
Some company your inconsolably furious with - send me and I will rant away.
Extra charges if you want me to use your words or specific phrases unless of course it's awesome - than an appropriate discount will be applied.

Pay Me To Rant For You
Sincerely,
The Reverend Eggplant Jones